I am seeking more consistency in my life, and to this end, I’m trying to set certain recurrent goals and scheduled tasks. Google Calendar mails me daily, with a list of things I had promised myself I would do (at the start of the month or week. Damn that PastMe, says I. Perhaps FutureMe will help me out?).
In any case, Google Calendar reliably informs me that today I am to blog. Thus, blogging I am. (Apparently PastMe has committed a host of FutureMes to this task every future week.)
Tonight I finally got around to going through the various Sympathy and Mass Cards that many wonderful people sent to us following Helen’s passing. I am trying to compile a list of names and addresses in order to send out thank-you cards. It’s turning out to be quite difficult – not least because we don’t know the addresses of people, but often because it is night on impossible to make out some of the names! We have clearly been spoiled by the Internet Era and its printed text.
It’s, not unexpectedly, quite a sad task. And I was once again touched by some beautiful messages of condolence from some wonderful people. We made it through that tough tough time with the help & support of many extraordinary friends. You know who you are. Thank you.
It’s nearly 4 months now since Helen passed away. It’s hard to put into words what those four months have been like. There’s been a whole load of keeping on keeping on. There’s been the usual busy-ness that life contains. There have been many small moments where we remember “This Time Last Year” – in something as simple as the type of meal we are preparing, or ordering coal – and stop for a moment of sad reflection.
And I’ve had a collection of crazy dreams (3 or more scattered through the months) where Helen has come back to life and been invariably annoyed with us for burying her. Who could blame her!
We call down to the graveyard mostly once a week (sometimes the WeatherO’Doom has just been far too inclement for this, and it’s been a bit longer), to say hello and even chat a bit. It’s a thing that helps in some way, I guess.
I’m not really sure what I believe when it comes to thoughts of an afterlife (well, I have some theories involving a greater number of dimensions than our 4-D consciousness readily perceives and the wave equations of Quantum Mechanics – but that probably deserves its own blog post, and for readers to be after a significant amount of wine), but – at the moment – this is what it feels right for us to do. Whether we are heard or not.
I mentioned in my previous post that we are training for the Cork City marathon in June, with plans to raise and donate money to charity in Helen’s name, and I will mention it again closer to the time – poking our wonderful friends to donate. Those 26 miles will be hard fought, if the last few weeks’ training is anything to go by. I may blog further about distance training and running once I’ve enough experience to have anything more to say about it than “ow”.
But for now – Anon, my friends. ‘Till Google Calendar bids me write once more.