Not even the rain

“… But I pretend I’m having it still.”

The last two weeks were without bloggery on my part (despite the fact that my many reminder widgets duly reminded my of my duties). My father was visiting and we took something of an impromptu holiday for much of his time here.

And now I’m back in front of a blank screen, all the thoughts I thought I had to share have somehow escaped. Possibly they are out chasing birds with the puppy.

This is likely to be something of a patchy blog update. I’ll jump from topic to topic, no doubt. Probably quite like having a conversation with me. Or a flea.

I had a bit of a trip in a Time Machine this evening (oddly enough, this seems to be a metaphor other friends have been using on their blogs and the like, recently). I was watching a recent episode of the TV show Skins which – through characters and music pulled me so thoroughly into a past mind state, it was scary.  I’ve experienced a similar thing reading certain books. Murakami’s Norwegian Wood comes to mind, in particular. (That’s twice in two blog posts I’ve linked to books by Murakami. People might start to get the impression I read nothing else!)

Anyway, I’ve escaped from the past for now, so onwards with blogging.

Puppy got hit by a car. I doubt that is anything close to news to anyone reading this blog, as you have likely seen my Twitter feed on the day.

“I can smile about it now, but at the time it was terrible.”

It was shocking and traumatic, and I think she recovered from the incident more quickly than we did. It brings the pre-sad for the day she will die. A terrible type of time-travel to be indulging in, given that she’s less than a year old!  So, I’ll tuck it down in the back of my brain, shelved with thoughts of my own future demise, buried under a flimsy pile of sunshine, candy and tea. A pile not as dusty as I’d like .. 

I’m not managing to shake this funk as quickly as I’d like.

This week is mainly about reorganizing and re-focusing. I’m being a lot less productive than ideal on a number of fronts (nearly all of them, in fact). To this end I’ve created a Remember The Milk account where the main recurring task is to set up a To-Do list for the day. It them IMs me over Google Talk to remind me of what I’m supposed to be doing, rather than browsing the Internet.  

I’ll reserve judgement until I’ve been using it for at least a month, but so far I’m pretty impressed.  I’m failing at getting it to integrate with iCal or GoogleCalendar in the ways I’d like, but seeing as I don’t really use those that much, it doesn’t bother me.

Anyway – next on the list is a date with Alice in Wonderland, so I’d best get my best pop-corn eating smile on. 

Anon.

I first started running for exercise when I moved to Japan. It seemed to fit somehow with the new world and new life I was seeking out for myself. And I enjoyed the montage-life picture of myself running along the river side in the early morning light, back-dropped by strange Asian architecture.

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Oh dear and few bloggers, since last we spoke a Warped Convention has been and gone, leaving me exhausted and with a sore throat. Running was sadly absent from the chocolate and fire-chicken-wing fueled weekend (though calling something that stretched from Thursday to Monday a weekend may be slightly inaccurate).

I did my usual Play One Game at a con – as I have done for all 5 I have now attended. It’s getting more fun, but I still feel I would be reluctant to commit to anything like regular role-playing. I like to claim that it’s down to a desire not to commit to scheduled activity, but there’s not a small part of it that’s down to being unsociable. I actively crave time in my own head – especially after long bouts of time in large groups. With Itzacon a mere 2 weeks away I had better hibernate in my room in order to ready myself sufficiently.

In the meantime, I am working away on my piece for the Torture Company challenge. I am pretty sure most people who read this blog have been pinged to come join the Artistic Challenge Facebook group – where we have a Theme a Fortnight to create (anything anything anything) to.  I’m attempting my very first digital coloring of a drawing, which is coming out okay, I think. It’s slow going and I’m already after realising mistakes I’ve made (which I’m not going to rectify at this point, I think. Shall just “learn for the future”.).

Anyway, I poke any and all of my readers who is interested in making fun stuff to check it out – even just have a lurk and see what other people create. I’m excited to see the results of this first one.

As for me, I will take this sore sore throat and head to bed, internetless and dreamful for at least 8 hours.

Be well.

I am seeking more consistency in my life, and to this end, I’m trying to set certain recurrent goals and scheduled tasks. Google Calendar mails me daily, with a list of things I had promised myself I would do (at the start of the month or week. Damn that PastMe, says I. Perhaps FutureMe will help me out?).

In any case, Google Calendar reliably informs me that today I am to blog. Thus, blogging I am.  (Apparently PastMe has committed a host of FutureMes to this task every future week.)

Tonight I finally got around to going through the various Sympathy and Mass Cards that many wonderful people sent to us following Helen’s passing. I am trying to compile a list of names and addresses in order to send out thank-you cards. It’s turning out to be quite difficult – not least because we don’t know the addresses of people, but often because it is night on impossible to make out some of the names! We have clearly been spoiled by the Internet Era and its printed text. 

It’s, not unexpectedly, quite a sad task. And I was once again touched by some beautiful messages of condolence from some wonderful people. We made it through that tough tough time with the help & support of many extraordinary friends. You know who you are. Thank you.

It’s nearly 4 months now since Helen passed away. It’s hard to put into words what those four months have been like. There’s been a whole load of keeping on keeping on. There’s been the usual busy-ness that life contains. There have been many small moments where we remember “This Time Last Year” – in something as simple as the type of meal we are preparing, or ordering coal – and stop for a moment of sad reflection.

And I’ve had a collection of crazy dreams (3 or more scattered through the months) where Helen has come back to life and been invariably annoyed with us for burying her. Who could blame her!

We call down to the graveyard mostly once a week (sometimes the WeatherO’Doom has just been far too inclement for this, and it’s been a bit longer), to say hello and even chat a bit. It’s a thing that helps in some way, I guess. 

I’m not really sure what I believe when it comes to thoughts of an afterlife (well, I have some theories involving a greater number of dimensions than our 4-D consciousness readily perceives and the wave equations of Quantum Mechanics – but that probably deserves its own blog post, and for readers to be after a significant amount of wine), but – at the moment – this is what it feels right for us to do. Whether we are heard or not.

I mentioned in my previous post that we are training for the Cork City marathon in June, with plans to raise and donate money to charity in Helen’s name, and I will mention it again closer to the time – poking our wonderful friends to donate. Those 26 miles will be hard fought, if the last few weeks’ training is anything to go by. I may blog further about distance training and running once I’ve enough experience to have anything more to say about it than “ow”. 

But for now – Anon, my friends. ‘Till Google Calendar bids me write once more.

So this is the New Year … 

I’ve been blogging in my head on and off for the past week.  
Death Cab for Cutie’s New Year has been playing in my head the whole time. 2009 was an horrendous toil for a variety of different reasons, and I’ve been feeling like I’ve been holding out for that turn of the dial, to bring me into a New Year and a new phase of living.

And I don’t feel any different.

But another day turning over and stretching doesn’t really change anything.  I’m not much of a person for New Year’s resolutions. For one reason and another, not just to do with the arbitrary line in the sandness of the whole thing, and the tendancy to give ourselves excuses, to “put things off” until the year has changed.

The clanking of crystal

I gave up drinking alcohol at the end of November, and New Year’s was chimed in with cranberry juice in champagne glasses.  I don’t know how long I’m going to stay away from alcoholic beverages, but it will be at least until the Spring Equinox. My long standing struggle with depression has almost always been exacerbated by the long nights of Winter, but this year’s has been the most difficult I can remember in a long time. I suppose I’d forgotten quite how terrible it can be in Ireland when the little daylight that’s there is obscured by fog and rain.  Some mornings it’s lethargy, others sadness, but most commonly it’s a twisting, paralyzing terror in my stomach that grows through the day until I can’t sleep at night with the fear, and the cycle starts again.

This is not the only reason I’ve given up drinking, but I do feel that keeping alcohol out of this mix is a sensible plan.

Explosions off in the distance.

This is the year that I’m due to marry, and there’s plenty for organizing. I had planned on blogging out the details here over the course of the year, but failed failed failed. I don’t think I’m going to pick up the reigns on it now, but I will be updating this site  very shortly (this week) with details on accomodation and the likes (now that hotels have finally gotten back to me with prices).

So this is the new year 
And I have no resolutions

We’re running a marathon on June 7th –just over 2 weeks before the wedding. The hope is to raise money for a (as yet undetermined) charity and donate the money in Helen’s name. A kind of memorial thing.  I got a pretty shiny gps running watch to help with the training, and we’re ramping up to follow this schedule in a week’s time. I very hope some of the slippy slidey ice has cleared by then.

For self assigned penance   
For problems with easy solutions

The house is a huge thing on the 2010 agenda as well. It needs a serious cleaning out and refurbishing. We possibly need to get in contact with a structural engineer of some kind as well and sort out damp proofing. I’m sure it’s one of those things that will be very easily sorted out by throwing money at the problem

We are definitely far from wealthy in the fiscal sense.

Gareth got a phone call on Wednesday this week. I could hear him talking out in the hallway, serious low tone and drifting scary words. In he came with worried stance and thumbs down. The company he’s been a staff writer for for coming up on 7 years have decided to let him go with less than a month’s notice, and nothing more than a pat on the back.It’s … unexpected.

It’s, I think, going to be one of the best bloody things that has every happened to us.

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There’d be no distance that can hold us back.

Gar, despite his lack of belief in himself, is stupidly talented and relentlessly imaginative and hardworking. We’re putting together a framework of plans and schedules that will let us survive financially but (hopefully) still allow Gar to finally create some things that don’t get mangled by bad editing slipshod layout and look-a-shiny-thing style management choices.

Meanwhile, I’m (hopefully) heading back to college in the Autumn, and thereafter will have the chance to let the yoof of today in on the secret that mathematics is actually fun and not as scary as bad teachers would have them believe. Well, that’s the dream …

So. This is the New Year.

100 print copies of Fish for Fish are missing somewhere in time and space. We hope to find them before Saturday, but in the meantime, we’re working on a back-up plan of sorts.

On Saturday, as those who read mytholder’s blog know, we’re due to be exhibiting at Dublin’s Edition Book Arts – a fun indie publishing & artist book arts fair.

T’would be great if people can come and see us.

However, we may not have too many copies of our comic (at the moment, we have the proof copy and not much more .. ). But we will have a poster!

A Blue Poster!

and some post-cards!

100% Reality Mind Postcard

As probably anyone who reads this blog already knows, myself and Gareth got engaged at the start of this month. It was a surprise to very few people, ourselves included. However, we are now faced with the rather large task of organizing the actual Wedding – something that seems quite secondary at the time of engagement.

For your amusement and mine, I have decided to blog my approach to the various tasks involved in this undertaking as they occur. I have also decided to be kind to the eyes of those on LJ who do not wish to read more and put the details behind a link.

Today’s Topic:

The Guest List

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I seem to do all my Fish for Fish blogging on this blog, rather than the “wordy” part of the comic blog. I just find it more convenient really, I think.

Anyway, this month’s news is that Chapter 6 is now complete and up on the site for those who are reading.

Also! A very shiny electronic version of Book 1 (Chapters 1 – 5) is now available from Drive Thru Comics. It has extra character info and the original text for Chapter 1 for those who have an interest in what the writing looks like before pictures get added.

We’re currently waiting on the print version of this – we went with a company in the states for the print run, so hopefully shipping goes smoothly and we’ll see our copies in time for Edition Book Arts where we’ll be exhibiting this year.

So, lots of excitement and busy-ness.

Also, became engaged to Gareth, bought a new domain (more on that when there’s something to show) and have been busily giving Maths and Physics instruction to a growing number of boys and girls for the upcoming Leaving and Junior Cert exams. It is no wonder I had to create The Schedule of Dooom(tm)!

Sorry for the silence. At a glance, I would be hard pushed to tell you what I’ve been doing with my life, but I know that I’ve been getting up early, bedding late, and busy for all the intervening hours!

Last month saw my week of teaching practice – introducing secondary school students to the deli world view in Maths and Business shape. It went better than I had been expecting – I’ll post anon in more detail about my teaching thoughts.

What I really came here to tell you all is that ….
Chapter 5 of Fish for Fish is now up here: http://thatsnotmysquid.com/comic/?p=89. Tell all you know to spend five minutes of their lives they’ll never get back on reading it.

And in extra good news, we’ll be collating Ch 1-5 as Book 1 of Fish for Fish this month to be available in either print form or as PDF. Watch this space.

Finally, this will probably be the last of the pastel-based updates – I’m not a huge fan for several reasons, but the main one is probably the sacrifice of control and detail. Chapter 6 won’t be a return to ink and brush, but rather and more traditional pen and ink style. Well, this was always meant to be a platform for Gareth and myself to explore different methods of writing and drawing. Let’s see how it goes!

As always, we love to hear from anyone out there reading on what they prefer. So comment and let us know your thoughts and opinions.

Tuesdays are clearly bad days for health. Or maybe it’s the gym that’s making me ill…

Last week I had a full-on migraine attack with blindness and curl-up-in-dark-roomness, and then yesterday what I thought might be the beginnings of appendicitis, but seems more likely is a bout of Winter Vomiting Virus (was ever an illness more horribly named?).

Anyway, that is not why I am here. I just wanted to point at the pretty pages of Gar’s books, with things he says about them, and links to Amazon here: http://thatsnotmysquid.com/bibliography.html.

Of course any of you who are interested in this sort of thing probably have all they want already. But go and look anyway